My dad is love =)

now that im the big two-oh, i will...

...be more affectionate. i will be so affectionate, you'll hate me (right, my 2 favorite thesis mates?)
...stop wasting time. i will do what i want, but not at the expense of what i HAVE to do.
...refrain from using self-confidence as a defense mechanism, and learn the art of humility.
...give. Give to the streetkids on the overpass. Give love. Give food.
...and since we're on the topic, i will share my food with my friends.
...and not eat their food.
...appreciate everything I currently have, and try not to dwell on the things i CANNOT have.
...be less loud and bouncy.
...be a better sp manager/IT and pub head.
...stop wishing and hoping and dreaming, because it's useless.
...and instead DO SOMETHING to get results!
...stop being useless comic relief and make something of myself.
...be taken more seriously.
...not be academic trash (patapon) occassionally, and get good grades.
...be a kickass daughter.
...EMPATHIZE. do not judge people in a state of self pity, because it is not a very nice state to be in. i now know that.
...WRITE AND WRITE AND WRITE SOME MORE, no matter how crappy my writings may be, there's bound to be good crap somewhere in that pile of crap.
...smile, even when it hurts.
...stop pretending to love myself, and actually DO.

i want the taste back =(

taken from audrey's lj:

"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love." - Charlie Brown, Peanuts

broken

Dear God,

It's happening again.


Please stop the pain, or give me the strength to endure it.


Please help me survive, or at least remain sane.


Please give me the strength to smile, and laugh, and act as if everything's okay, or at least come up with some valid excuse when the tears start coming.


Please don't let me lose again, or give me the will to accept losing.


Amen.

if only this were the real reason...

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Busy

While a relationship sounds nice, you're strapped for time Whether you're legitimately busy or just making excuses... ... You don't give men enough of your time. As nice as "instant love" would be, there's just no such thing.

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

why do i think otherwise? le sigh.


i really don't wanna start ranting about relationships (or lack thereof) now. i've lasted this long, why start now? so, ill just say, ciao.

Viajeng Langit --- ORSEM '06

It is difficult to write about certain experiences simply because words wouldn't do them justice. At the same time, it is difficult NOT to write about these experiences, as our minds may not be powerful enough to store these memories for a lifetime. One such experience is this year's ORSEM.


Viaje: ORSEM 2006 was bittersweet, although it was more on the sweet side for me. Bitter because it was my last year as a TNT, sweet because it was one extraordinary, incomparable experience. This was mainly because of two major factors:


MY FRESHIES
Love. Love. LOVE. I can’t think of any other appropriate word. All my fears about being a solo Tnt this year went poof the moment I met them while doing silly movements on a chair. Each of them unique and special in their own way, and each of them added numerous drops of joy to my ‘happy jar.’ If ever they get a chance to read this, I just wanna say:


Thank you guys. For the heartwarming messages, and the hugs, and the laughter. I bet you gave me more happiness than I could ever have given you, even though technically, that was my job during ORSEM.


I truly hope they enjoy Ateneo as much as I have.



MY CO-TNT'S
Where else will you find 150 people willing to jump and run and gyrate their bodies on top of chairs and scream their lungs out for 3 days straight, with no qualms whatsoever? Who, even when wet from head to foot, still manage to run around and coil around each other in one giant tentacular? Or are willing to break into what some people might find 'inane' dances, but for them are meaningful and definitely memorable and even become part of the definition of ORSEM?


Where else will you find 150 people bursting with passion, enough passion to endure 3 days of sweat, exhaustion, and even in rare cases ridicule from those who don't understand them?


And most importantly, where else will you find 150 people with so much love to give to their ‘babies’, people they barely know yet have dedicated all their energy and passion to? And would sacrifice their own comfort and risk making a fool of themselves just to make sure their ‘babies’ are having fun, are not too tired, get their food on time, or are not lost in the sea of people in the cov courts?


Tangina, kung mey ibang taong ganyan, pakita nyo sakin. Alam kong mahirap maintindihan kung hindi mo naranasan, pero wala talagang katulad ang karanasang ito. Ang pinagsisisihan ko lang, ay hindi ako sumali noong 2nd year pa ako. Pero ang dalawang taong pag-TnT ko ay sapat na din dahil masayang masaya parin ako. I don’t want it to end. Mahal ko sila masyado. Gusto ko pa. GUSTO KO PA!

The Little Mermaid

A few weeks ago, jomel and i were discussing fairy tales and how their mutated, candy-coated versions were nothing like the orginal.



This may seem silly, but when I was a kid I remember reading the story of 'the Little Mermaid', and I don't mean the Disney version with the lobster with an accent and the ever famous 'look at this stuff, isn't it neat?' musical number. I'm referring to the real version, the one where the little mermaid turns into sea foam because she couldn't slit the throat of the prince as she needed to splatter his blood on her legs to keep them from turning into a fishtale in the end. And to think that I read this version before I watched the animated film,a nd that counts as a semi-traumatizing experience especially to a young girl.



Anyway, I remember there was this particular part in the story which struck me the most. It was the part where the Little Mermaid had to dance for the prince and his fiance. You see, as part of the evil witch' s deal, in exchange for giving her legs, she would take her tongue so she was unable to speak, and every step she took would feel like a thousand daggers piercing her feet. So imagine how painful it must have felt for her to dance. But of course, the little mermaid endured all this because she loved the prince so much. She also endured seeing Prince Charming fall in love with the girl he thought rescued him from the shipwreck, when in reality it was the little mermaid who saved him from the waves and brought him to shore, the girl simply found him once he was safe and sound on the sand. She also endured not being able to speak to him and to tell him how much she loved him and about all the pain she had to go through in order to get close to him. Of course, the prince loved her, too, but to him she was just his pet, the lost little girl he found. He loved her like we love adorable little puppies.



There you go. That was a love story right there. Ain't love just grand?