life or something like it

My dad is love =)

2006-08-03T22:22:00.000+08:00

now that im the big two-oh, i will...

2006-07-24T11:34:00.000+08:00

...be more affectionate. i will be so affectionate, you'll hate me (right, my 2 favorite thesis mates?)
...stop wasting time. i will do what i want, but not at the expense of what i HAVE to do.
...refrain from using self-confidence as a defense mechanism, and learn the art of humility.
...give. Give to the streetkids on the overpass. Give love. Give food.
...and since we're on the topic, i will share my food with my friends.
...and not eat their food.
...appreciate everything I currently have, and try not to dwell on the things i CANNOT have.
...be less loud and bouncy.
...be a better sp manager/IT and pub head.
...stop wishing and hoping and dreaming, because it's useless.
...and instead DO SOMETHING to get results!
...stop being useless comic relief and make something of myself.
...be taken more seriously.
...not be academic trash (patapon) occassionally, and get good grades.
...be a kickass daughter.
...EMPATHIZE. do not judge people in a state of self pity, because it is not a very nice state to be in. i now know that.
...WRITE AND WRITE AND WRITE SOME MORE, no matter how crappy my writings may be, there's bound to be good crap somewhere in that pile of crap.
...smile, even when it hurts.
...stop pretending to love myself, and actually DO.

i want the taste back =(

2006-07-20T22:18:00.000+08:00

taken from audrey's lj:

"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love." - Charlie Brown, Peanuts

broken

2006-07-09T23:42:00.000+08:00

Dear God,

It's happening again.

Please stop the pain, or give me the strength to endure it.

Please help me survive, or at least remain sane.

Please give me the strength to smile, and laugh, and act as if everything's okay, or at least come up with some valid excuse when the tears start coming.

Please don't let me lose again, or give me the will to accept losing.

Amen.

if only this were the real reason...

2006-06-27T20:12:00.000+08:00

You Don't Have a Boyfriend Because You are Too Busy

While a relationship sounds nice, you're strapped for time
Whether you're legitimately busy or just making excuses...
... You don't give men enough of your time.
As nice as "instant love" would be, there's just no such thing.

Why Don't You Have a Boyfriend?

why do i think otherwise? le sigh.

i really don't wanna start ranting about relationships (or lack thereof) now. i've lasted this long, why start now? so, ill just say, ciao.

Viajeng Langit --- ORSEM '06

2006-06-17T21:55:00.000+08:00

It is difficult to write about certain experiences simply because words wouldn't do them justice. At the same time, it is difficult NOT to write about these experiences, as our minds may not be powerful enough to store these memories for a lifetime. One such experience is this year's ORSEM.

Viaje: ORSEM 2006 was bittersweet, although it was more on the sweet side for me. Bitter because it was my last year as a TNT, sweet because it was one extraordinary, incomparable experience. This was mainly because of two major factors:

MY FRESHIES
Love. Love. LOVE. I can’t think of any other appropriate word. All my fears about being a solo Tnt this year went poof the moment I met them while doing silly movements on a chair. Each of them unique and special in their own way, and each of them added numerous drops of joy to my ‘happy jar.’ If ever they get a chance to read this, I just wanna say:

Thank you guys. For the heartwarming messages, and the hugs, and the laughter. I bet you gave me more happiness than I could ever have given you, even though technically, that was my job during ORSEM.

I truly hope they enjoy Ateneo as much as I have.

MY CO-TNT'S
Where else will you find 150 people willing to jump and run and gyrate their bodies on top of chairs and scream their lungs out for 3 days straight, with no qualms whatsoever? Who, even when wet from head to foot, still manage to run around and coil around each other in one giant tentacular? Or are willing to break into what some people might find 'inane' dances, but for them are meaningful and definitely memorable and even become part of the definition of ORSEM?

Where else will you find 150 people bursting with passion, enough passion to endure 3 days of sweat, exhaustion, and even in rare cases ridicule from those who don't understand them?

And most importantly, where else will you find 150 people with so much love to give to their ‘babies’, people they barely know yet have dedicated all their energy and passion to? And would sacrifice their own comfort and risk making a fool of themselves just to make sure their ‘babies’ are having fun, are not too tired, get their food on time, or are not lost in the sea of people in the cov courts?

Tangina, kung mey ibang taong ganyan, pakita nyo sakin. Alam kong mahirap maintindihan kung hindi mo naranasan, pero wala talagang katulad ang karanasang ito. Ang pinagsisisihan ko lang, ay hindi ako sumali noong 2nd year pa ako. Pero ang dalawang taong pag-TnT ko ay sapat na din dahil masayang masaya parin ako. I don’t want it to end. Mahal ko sila masyado. Gusto ko pa. GUSTO KO PA!

The Little Mermaid

2006-06-11T16:44:00.000+08:00

A few weeks ago, jomel and i were discussing fairy tales and how their mutated, candy-coated versions were nothing like the orginal.

This may seem silly, but when I was a kid I remember reading the story of 'the Little Mermaid', and I don't mean the Disney version with the lobster with an accent and the ever famous 'look at this stuff, isn't it neat?' musical number. I'm referring to the real version, the one where the little mermaid turns into sea foam because she couldn't slit the throat of the prince as she needed to splatter his blood on her legs to keep them from turning into a fishtale in the end. And to think that I read this version before I watched the animated film,a nd that counts as a semi-traumatizing experience especially to a young girl.

Anyway, I remember there was this particular part in the story which struck me the most. It was the part where the Little Mermaid had to dance for the prince and his fiance. You see, as part of the evil witch' s deal, in exchange for giving her legs, she would take her tongue so she was unable to speak, and every step she took would feel like a thousand daggers piercing her feet. So imagine how painful it must have felt for her to dance. But of course, the little mermaid endured all this because she loved the prince so much. She also endured seeing Prince Charming fall in love with the girl he thought rescued him from the shipwreck, when in reality it was the little mermaid who saved him from the waves and brought him to shore, the girl simply found him once he was safe and sound on the sand. She also endured not being able to speak to him and to tell him how much she loved him and about all the pain she had to go through in order to get close to him. Of course, the prince loved her, too, but to him she was just his pet, the lost little girl he found. He loved her like we love adorable little puppies.

There you go. That was a love story right there. Ain't love just grand?

mcchris

2006-05-10T22:29:00.000+08:00

*peechur courtesy tara

we are evil people with evil thoughts. do not blame us, blame the picture. i mean, c'mon, doesn't it provoke you to think evil thoughts? thoughts of the 'i-wish-they-would-get-it-on-and-have-lots-of-babies-even-though-chris-already-has-babies-and-is-married' variety. i will stop now before i get an express ticket to hell.

it's a mcchris finale or nothing! america, kamown! vote wisely. for the sake of our sanity.

on retail therapy, the corporate world, and life as a couch potato

2006-05-01T21:25:00.000+08:00

one of the hazards of summer is that because of the sudden avalanche of free time people suddenly find themselves with, they either find something extremely productive to do, such as learn the violin or something, or spend all that time being unproductive, lying in bed, eating everything their kitchen has to offer, and fixing their lives around the tv schedule. take me, for example. unfortunately, my life is a striking semblance of the latter. despite having practicum, i miraculously still have found time to spend quality time with the tv and the dvd player.

yes, i have officially turned into a tv geek. is it me, or are there just too many good shows around nowadays? damn you all prison break, grey's anatomy, house, american idol, nip/tuck, project runway, america's next top model, the oc, all 3 CSI's, Ftv, smallville, LOST for turning robbing me of my formerly colorful and productive life! *rawr* (that sentence practically screams reaction formation, noh?)

i dread experiencing television withdrawal syndrome when school starts.

***

retail therapy is love! can't believe i spent two glorious days shopping: yesterday with my mom, and today, in a classic case of peer pressure (wahaha), with jomel. nevermind if i blew off last week's savings and am up to my ears in debt. what can i say, i'm weak. when faced with the words 'mega sale', i'm worse than a fly hovering over a piece of shit, i just can't resist.

***

okay, before this entry gets any ditzier, enough about malling. so much has happened in the past few weeks that ive been wanting to write about, but since im a working girl now (yes, you heard right, you know, corporate wear and all), im either too dilapidated to type when i get home from work or the tv distracted me. don't get me wrong, i love my work at summitmedia (jobstreet select). not only do i have the most fabulous bunch of co-workers and get to do far-from-boring stuff, it is located in galle, yes, the mall (okay! enough aboutmalling already). but seriously, though i never envisioned a future in the corporate world as i have a semblance of ADD when it comes to doing routine work, im finding this whole experience enjoyable. though i still cant say that it is now my dream to be a full time corporate employee when i graduate (i'd rather be a starving stylist, really), the point is, it has broken down the stereotypes i had about this kind of work. who knows, maybe ill be yasha barretto, CEO someday wahaha.

cute poison

2006-05-01T19:26:00.000+08:00

speaking of my weaknesses...

love the shades, dontcha?

wentworth smiling. bow. *faints*

they should invent a new adjective for him. something beyond hot.

ano ba yan. wala na ako masabi. lahat sa kanya maganda. pati paa.

and he's a lit graduate from princeton, who's working on his own script! san ka pa.

aaaand the best part is, finally, mey dibidi na ako ng prison break! weeeeee! i am sooooo tempted to skip work tomorrow to watch it, since i wont have time this weekend, waaaaah. or not. *wimpwimpwimp* hee. i wish i were a wee bit more irresponsible so i'd be capable of doing that.

oh well. mukhang wala nang tulugan itoh. wahaha.

prison break

2006-04-05T12:46:00.000+08:00

i am officially hooked on Prison Break. After catching two episodes, there's no turning back. true, it is as testosterone-charged as sex and the city is estrogen-filled, but i'm also quite a sucker for guy-flicks, and in this case, tv shows. i haven't been this thrilled at a tv show since smallville, season 1, back in the day when the whole clark & lana lovefest was still happily frustrating. (now its just frustrating. period.) if you still haven't tuned in to it, or downloaded the episodes (which iwish i could, but given my dial-up situation, ergh, nevermind), you're definitely missing fingernails-on-armrest/pillowcase excitement. its like The Shawshank Redemption on fast forward, minus the tearjerker drama. tralala, something to do this summer, hehe.

oh, and did i mention wentworth miller's absolutely gorgeous? well YES. he is. *sigh* yet another reason to watch it. =P

EVSEM@Tali!

2006-04-04T14:00:00.000+08:00

*i should've written this days ago, but due to a very swollen throat, a fever, and a nose overflowing with mucous, i was temporarily incapacitated to leave the bedsheets for a few days.

anyway, last week, we had the Heights Evsem at Fonzy's resthouse in Tali. as much as i would like to give a blow-by-blow, there's just too much to say. bottom line, it was loads of fun, (evsem, what evsem? parang nag beach lang tayo ah! hehe) well, we got the work part over with early on, and the next days were just sand, water, and sun. lemme describe it in a nutshell:

tali // evsem// sand// sun// raft// rocks// jumping off a cliff// cute little fishies// ever tried yakult rum?yum!// duyan// People 50 Most Beautiful...1998!// speaking in similes and metaphors during dinnertime// visitor Q (my psyche will never be the same again)// barnacles// STIK-O! (once you pop, you can't stop!)// the heights EB 05-06 *sniff* will miss you terribly, senior eds =)

the heights EB gettin ready to hit the beach (left) and getting LOST!!!

(more pics stolen from rina and crisgee at http://thwonk.multiply.com)

43 things to do this summer

2006-03-26T23:28:00.000+08:00

magbeach til i get unrecognizable! get a pink streak work! (practicum) be a couch potato sex and the city marathon make a difference be useful go from 5 meals to 3 meals read memoirs of a geisha TnT again(sana!) save moolah make the best of a wonderful thing fix the tornado zone that is my room pray have a garage sale of my old clothes listen to feist, the strokes, save ferris, the yeahyeahyeahs, and the OC mix 1-5 all day long watch popular season 2! read eleven minutes blog meet up with old friends drop a few inches (horizontally, not vertically) learn photoshop! go to gapo! capoeira (sp?) orgwork practicum class sleep til noon dance learn a new skill dvd marathon! hang out with my cousins during Holy Week (pusoy dos til dawn na ito!!) travel hang out with my pamangkins eat! exercise write! (seriously) play volleyball without running away and shrieking at the ball hang out with my friends davinci code, x3, MI:3! read all the books i've missed (high fidelity, the godfather, thwonk) hang out with my doggie, frodo! magpaparlor meet new people fall in love with life

as much as i detest mushiness...(okay that's a lie)

2006-03-26T17:55:00.000+08:00

tralala

2006-03-26T16:33:00.000+08:00

this week has got to be one of the most hectic weeks of my life. which is kinda ironic, since its supposed to officially be the first week of summer, what with finals week (and my junior year) officially over. but no, literally there's something to do everyday of the week.

monday: PEERS evsem
tuesday: psych ball
wednesday to friday: Heights evsem @ TALI! wheee!
friday: Lola Conchita's bertday; joey's bertday party
saturday to sunday: PEERS LTS

whew. nope, im not complaining, coz most of the stuff i expect to be funfunfun. im actually half-relieved, coz living the life of a bum slash tv junkie slash couch potato (which can get bor-ring after a while) has been delayed for another week or so. i just hope my body doesn't conk out on me, as this morning, it absolutely refused to get out of bed. whereas my brain was all set and i was doing a mental rundown of my to-do list, Body just refused to cooperate. and now, i have the sniffles. and the dreaded monthly you know what. argh.

and i have yet to find a job. *sniff* if someone schedules a job interview this week, im dead.

i swear, when i get to tali and zambales, i am spending quality time with the sand and the waves, i don't care if i get burned brown til only my teeth are visible.

a biiiig sorry to tara and honey. i know i promised we'd have our trditional gossipfest/sleepover/marathon/soundtrip session this week, promise next time! =)

on feist (stolen from tara's blog) tara! i love her and its your fault! =)

2006-03-09T21:38:00.000+08:00

"kung tao kang marunong makaappreciate ng magagandang bagay, pakinggan mo si feist. ang galing sobra. parang gusto mong umiyak tumalon sumigay tumawa ng sabay sabay. ang sakit sa puso sa sobrang ganda at lungkot at saya."

for those of you who don't know feist, she's the ingenue singing in most of the lacoste commercials. listen to her album and you'll see (or rather, hear) that the lacoste soundtracks are but appetizers, she's got so much more yummier songs.

***

oh, and i agree with you, boobs ARE overrated. hear, hear.

FYI

2006-02-22T21:04:00.000+08:00

some people misinterpreted the previous entry as being about a crush of mine. no! its about someone giving me a lot of stress.

from the twisted mind of a girl who's sick and tired of irony

2006-02-20T22:53:00.000+08:00

though the personal landslide i am feeling right now is definitely puny and superficial compared to the avalanche of mud that destroyed a leyte town, i can't help thinking that, silly as it may be, this is MY landslide, i have every right to feel whatever it is i feel.

yes, it sounds selfish. yes, i may deserve it, or at least part of it. but AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

is it possible to feel emptiness and pain simulateneously? or to feel self confident and worthless at the same time? or maybe it is because of emptiness that i feel pain, and too much confidence may have backfired. but in reality, i don't know what's wrong with me. i cant pinpoint a reason for this sudden avalanche of negativity. or maybe this is because there really isnt a reason, yet my head's exploding with possible reasons.

maybe its hypocrisy, or me turning into a hypocrite. i absolutely abhore people pulsing with negativity, and yet the worst part is that i may be turning into one of these people. i always found people who thought that all the particles of the universe's sole puprose for being was to make their lives miserable as foolish. but these past few weeks have brought out the worst in me. my head's being pounded upon by a thousand little hammers, which hurts a thousand times more than one big BOINK. i want to stop being cruel, but as much as i repeat to myself over and over to 'be nice, be nice be nice', or 'why are you turning into this, the very person you love to hate?' never in my life have i found it so hard.

i feel so frustrated that tears of frustration cant even come out anymore, which only leads to further frustration.

i feel so guilty because i went throught his before, and things were so much easier for me because the people in my place apparently are more mature and understanding than i am.

i feel so irritated, because no one wins here. its not like im on cloud 9 right now, and even without this whole fiasco, i still wont be on cloud 9 anyway.

but the worst part is, i was happy. i really was. i have the best possible bunch of friends to hang out with on a daily basis that a person could ask for, a fact which makes me so glad and grateful that i feel i have to do a nobel prize worthy deed every single day to make up for it. ive got old friends who pop up anytime, despite their busy schedules, whenever i have an emotional emergency or just a sudden desire to consume unfathomable amounts of popcorn, with just a single text message. ive got the most adorable parents who would give the brady bunch's parents a run for their money. with that in mind, ive been exploring the joys of my current status in life. to say everything was going amazingly great is an understatement.

no, this is not a post about love. rather, i think this is about lack of love. i guess after reading ten chapters of 'on love', and about how hate is not the opposite of love but nothingness is, and about twenty other quotable quotes from the bards of the past, i have unwittingly had some realizations. or maybe realizations isnt quite the right term, as i believe i knew these things all along, and just refused to acknowledge them. i don't feel anything resembling giddy romantic love for anyone right now, i revel in the fact that i still feel giddy at ordinary everyday events, from the most meaningful to the most senseless kulitans and conversations, eating mint oreos like pringles (once you pop...), blasting rock tunes from the ipod at 1am, being appreciated for my work, believing that im doing things that aren't useless... yes, everyday events that have nothing to do with romance.

i hate rejection, yet i don't have a choice. i know how it feels, and i hate to do it, but what else was there to do? i value honesty, but i hate being brutally honest to the point of being hurtful, but the candy coated versions were misunderstood. i hate it, but i hate bullshit even more. i hate being hurtful, but hurt is inevitable. i hate the fact that i am going against the very thing i have been asking God all this time. and most of all, i hate the irony of this all.

persistence is a virtue, but too much of something is does no one any good.

no, this isnt a plea to anyone, because i cant control anyone's feelings. i have made mistakes in the past which i will regret for the rest of my life. i know the pain. but i never pushed this hard. im sorry, this is just how i feel.

i am a person who is mean and unworthy.

enough

2006-01-13T00:36:00.000+08:00

how many movies have preached when you love someone, you say it. (*ahem* my best friend's wedding?)

but in real life, there are times when you just shoudn't, because its the right thing to do.

still, i am happy. and grateful. =)

as andrew lincoln said from love, actually. 'enough now.' =)

Geek Week

2005-09-10T22:02:00.000+08:00

the past week was probably the nerdiest week of the semester, for me at least. i had 2 long tests in cog (last tues) and biopsych (thurs). so i read 6 chapters of probably the most excrutiatingly boring book ever written (ask any psych major who had to read sternberg, and they'll agree with me) and another 6 chapters from a book filled with scientific gibberish that all sound alike (atereognosia, anosognosia, ataxia, apaxia isqwdfhptynfjsn) and memorized damn nervous system pathways that i probably will never even have practical use for, even if i join some TV game show in the future.(which i probably wont). i spent almost the entire weekend reading, the only real time out i gave myself was to go to carmi's party saturday night.

now, cog was okay. i got the results last thursday, and guess what guess what? i got an A! *squeals with glee*. (sorry, im not gloating, super saya lang kasi ang sarap ng pakiramdam, lalo na dahil di ko talaga akalaing ma-aabsorb ng brain ko lahat ng impormasyon na iyon).

BUT, biopsych is a totally different story. i slaved away on that subject for two weeks, since the test was supposed to be the week before and got postponed. i even made outlines and studied past reviewers from my friends who already took it. and yet,i feel so anxious about the results. it was such a frustrating test, because, as even others who took it said, no matter how much you studied, it really was difficult. even the multiple choice items were horrible. i finished 30 minutes early, which im not sure is a good thing, coz i couldnt bring myself to go over my answers again. my brain just died on me. i looked so hideous after that test that when i went to my next class, people were asking what was the matter with me. but the good part was, the minute i walked out of the classroom, i felt like a humongous chunk of something was lifted off my shoulders. hay. i just wanna get my test back NOW. shucks, im turning into a grade conscious geek.

anyway, that same afternoon, i got a sudden attack of nausea. that hasn't happened to me in....actually, that has never happened to me before. i was walking through zen garden when i suddenly found myself swerving off the pathway and onto the grass. luckily, i realized what was happening and steadied myself. the people behind me were probably giving me weird 'what-on-earth-is-she-doing' looks. then the dizziness disappeared and i headed over to the pub to wait for my mom. i hung out there for a while, then after about half an hour, the pub started spinning. as in i was sitting there, and i felt like i was sitting on a revolving chair that and was being spun at top speed. when i got home, i still felt so dizzy i was rendered useless the entire evening. i didnt even read Fr. Dacs masturbation handout for the x3 quiz the next day, coz i fell asleep at around 8:30. ive always wondered how it felt like to black out and faint. ganun ba pakiramdam nun? just wonderin.

all i can say is, im glad geek week is over. now i can focus on other things. things i had to put on hold because of all these darn nerdy concerns. things very important to me that i swear i will not put on hold any longer.

this entry has no point. im just yadda yadda yadda-ing.

2005-08-24T23:46:00.000+08:00

last weekend felt like purgatory on earth.

you know you're truly miserable when you force yourself to sleep at 730 in the evening just to escape the misery of being awake. and then you wake up the next morning with absolutely no willpower to get up, not even the smell of pancakes and bacon entice you to leave the comfort of your pillows. and then you try desperately to get back to sleep, even though you've been asleep for 14 hours, because being chased by monsters when your feet feel like lead seems better than going about your daily routine.

you know you're sad when not even popcorn and a cheesy tagalog movie cant perk you up.(okay, so watching nasaan ka man to feel better was a mistake. it was a good film, good cinematography, but it isnt exactly the cheesiest, perk-you-up tagalog movie. on the contrary, it actually had me in tears by the time the credits started rolling. and those weren't happy tears. those were shit-bakit-ganito-ang-mundooo kind of tears.)

you know you're sad when smiling actually gets you irritated and needs maximum effort, and frowning seems easier even though you're using 20 more muscles and causing wrinkles to start forming on who knows where.

i was never a moody person. but lately, ive been having mood swings similar to the weird sunny-one-minute-war-of-the-worlds-ish-the-next weather. and its been bothering me. i think the people i know arent used to this side of me. heck, i'm not used to this side of me. i remember someone told me once, 'eh ikaw kasi mukhang wala ka laging problema eh.' another friend said that when people like me get sad, its usually something serious.

i do get sad. its just that no one notices. because when im sad, i usually try to laugh as much as i can when im with my friends just to forget that im sad. or maybe ive never been one to complain and rant to a group of people. when i do, its usually about professors who think students are superhumans who can accomplish piles of schoolwork in a timespan shorter than the average lifespan of a fly. i rarely rant about insecurities, romance (or lack thereof), personal identity issues, or all those stuff the writers of the OC or One Tree Hill base their stories on. only a few people have been an audience to these types of rants of mine. i reserve my dramatic moments to when im alone in my room, or when taking a looong shower in the bathroom. i dont even write about them. if you've been an avid reader of my blog (which you probably aren't), my entries mainly consist of sugary experiences, my latest obsessions, or desperate pleas for items i would like to borrow.

i know my problems are probably irrelevant compared to the sh*t other people are going through, but then again, who's to say that they are? the thing that makes them a big deal to me is that they are mine. as histrionic as that sounds, its true. not that i don't care about other people's problems, coz i do really. im a psych major, heck, i even plan to make a living out of listening to other people's problems someday. so where am i going with this? ayy..ewan ko. basta. im just rambling.

im so glad the weekend's over.

to the very special, super perverted, special projects staff!

2005-08-20T17:32:00.000+08:00

can i just say, we have the most fabulous, fun, fantastic staff in the universe? the SP staff is super in every sense of the word. and what makes me even happier is when i see that they're having a great time. (that's what i can tell from their blog entries, at least, haha)

the Heights book launch last wednesday was a shocking success, thanks to these very Special People. I say shocking not because I ever doubted their capabalities, but because they surpassed my Everest-high expectations. and what amazed me even more, was how much fun we all had.

and to think i was so stressed and worried, with a dozen different worst case scenarios playing in my head on the days preceding it. X to me.

had fun at the inuman guys. mga Super Perverts! here's to more bonding sessions, laugh out loud meetings, and fantastic events!!

*sayang di kumpleto, more pics to come

when the world conspires against you

2005-08-20T12:25:00.001+08:00

you know the saying 'ang buhay ay parang gulong yadda yadda..?' that has got to be the most gasgas, unpoetic, lame analogy ever said. it's probably also the truest.

so this is what karma feels like. a few days ago, i remember listening to a friend rant about how God seems to be playing games with him because all these strange little and big coincidences kept happening to him recently. and what did i do? i started laughing. and when i say laughing, i dont mean my usual giggling or polite snickering but laughing as in spaghetti-could-have-slipped-out-of-my-nose laughing. he was so convinced that lets say, event A caused event B when it so obviously defied all the rules of logic. here he was, feeling so down in the dumps, and yet i couldnt even bring myself to sympathize because i found it genuinely amusing how these things actually made sense in his head, whereas it made as much sense to me as how Chicken of the Sea contained tuna to Jessica Simpson.

it just so happened that on that day, i felt truly happy for the first time in ages. so happy, my head felt like it was made of cotton candy. like an ant who, after hours of aimless wandering around, finds himself in a marshmallow factory. somehow, for one afternoon, my life seemed so beautiful. God has been showering me with blessings. my to-do list seemed to have vanished. i had the luxury of daydreaming without anything urgent haunting me. i hadnt experienced any major failures in the things i took on in a while. it was as if all my bad memories were safely tucked at the innermost regions of my unconscious, and only the good ones were floating in my consciousness. all my insecurities seemed to have vanished as well, or were in the same place as my bad memories. there was so much to look forward to. i felt accomplished. i felt like i could do anything i wanted. i felt loved by the people who mattered to me. sabi ko 'God, alam kong pagkatapos nito, malulungkot din ako ulit, kasi lagi naman ganun eh, pero sana naman wag muna.'

and then *POOF!*.

its no exaggeration when i say that in a matter of hours, i felt so hideous, stupid, uncertain, hopeless, and paranoid all at once.

its amazing, the power of petty little things. how they can destroy something so wonderful. its like how EDSA dos was triggered and an administration ended because an envelope wasnt opened (not that the estrada administration was wonderful.) or how, just because 'the one' doesn't return your smile when you bump into him in the SEC walkway, the fact that you got a 4 in a theo quiz (hypothetically speaking, of course), and all the A's in the world dont seem to matter anymore and you turn into a paranoid schoolgirl.

or, its when all the things that made me happy were all negated because of one little petty incident. or several. but the point is, to other people, some things seem so shallow, and laughable even. but to you, it makes perfect sense that event A caused event B and you are the big fat loser. they're so big a deal that some things that used to mean a lot suddenly become unfulfilling and meaningless and you think that the world is conspiring against you. and the worst part is, you know that only a while ago, you felt you were invincible and you ask yourself was there something you could have done to keep that feeling of pure bliss? and then comes the regret of you not doing it.

look what hapened to the silly brat who laughed her ass off at other people's problems, just because at that moment she thought she was happy. so this is what karma feels like.

surprise, surprise

2005-08-04T00:45:00.000+08:00

today, i actually had my first ever surprise birthday party. true, it was really belated, but nevertheless touching. actually, it was a triple bash: jomel's birthday, mine, and chris' despedida. the funny thing was, all three of us had no idea what was going on. chris thought we were having jomel's and my surprise party, jomel thought we were having chris' despedida (and was actually pretty annoyed the entire day because he thought we werent thinking much of his birthday :P), and i thought it was only chris and jomel's surprise thing.

so the whole day i was thinking that i was 'in the know'. but no. here's what happened:

- after lunch: went to carmi's house and went swimming with my blockies. it was an impromptu thing, so i had no extra clothes whatsoever. luckily, carmi and eunice lent me a bikini. so today was also the first time ive ever worn a bikini in my life.

- then, had to rush to school for workshop evals, wet hair and all

- then, went back to carmi's place. but they were just getting out of the pool. so i didnt swim anymore.

- then, ate at shakeys. made a humongous pile of ice cream, which was shared by about 9 people

- then, went to the edboard meeting. i forgot my wallet so i even had to borrow trike fare from kae, haha

- then, went to jomel's condo. nobody was there yet except ems and jomel. ems, his bestfriend surprised him with 18 gifts. as in all from her. omygosh. kainggit tuloy. (ahem, abby, bat di mo ako ginawan ng ganun? hahaha just kidding!) joms had a film showing for biopsych up to 9pm, so we killed time in the condo first.

- then, went to makati to fetch chris with vito and mikes. a really hilarious thing happened, too. i nearly went into the wrong car. as in, the driver was staring at me like 'sino 'tong babaeng 'to?' mikes and i were laughing so hard when we got into vits' car. we got lost on mckinley road. but luckily, we found her place.

- then, went back to jom's condo. there was a slight kaguluhan when we got there, coz there were about 20+ of us, and we couldnt fit into the condo. and then to top it all off, jomel suddenly rushed inside, so we were all thinking 'what are you doing here?! . muntik na ma-ruin yung surprise! so i tried dragging him to seattle's best. but then, mikes dragged both of us back in.

- then, when we got in, jay and mikes opened the refrigerator and inside were roses and a cake. everyone started singing 'happy birthday', including me. but suddenly, i was handed a bouquet of pink roses and i was thinking 'huh?' then they opened the cake and written on it was 'Happy birthday yash and jomel!' and all this time i was thinking i was in on the plan. i was so surprised coz i really thought it was just chris and jomel's thing. i even thought i was part of the 'suprisers'.

- then, we headed off to cams' condo, (which is bigger) and had an inuman session while playing truth AND dare (hindi truth or dare ha, but both). and this new game called 7-up, wherein i got the first consequence. i still don't know what happened to me, coz i was blindfolded when they did their thing.

lemme just say, thank you to EVERYONE who was there. i never thought i'd have a surprise party ever, but i secretly always wanted one. heehee so thank you for making my dream come true. haha!

and thank YOU too, coz even if you werent there, you added bonus happy points to my day, too.

an impulse-driven blog entry which will probably get deleted tomorrow

2005-08-02T21:48:00.000+08:00

i have finally made a decision. on the way home this evening, while riding in the car staring at EDSA billboards, it just hit me, for some unknown reason, that i really have nothing to lose. i even practiced the scenario in my head, although im sure, like all expectations, that scenario will most likely not happen the way i pictured it to. i do not know where the hell did this sudden burst of courage came from. although come to think of it, its about time i did something. its been too long. and if i dont do something, im going to be stuck in this nasty little rut. and there's nothing more i would want than to climb out of this bittersweet place. i don't even care anymore what the implications will be. ive had it. im sick and im tired of keeping my feelings bottled up. and im a psych major, dammit, i should know that this is the number one cause of neurosis.

i just realized, too, that these past few months, so many of my friends admitted their feelings to the objects of their affection. hmm..oo nga noh. it just hit me right now. inspiring actually. ang galing nila. these same people have been giving relentless encouragement to me, too. and they're right, i have nothing to lose.

if i keep telling myself that, maybe this will morph from another stupid, impulse-driven blog entry into something that actually generates results. by results, i don't mean that im expecting a fairy tale. it would be nice, but that's not the point. ive reached the point where even if i get a 'my best friend's wedding' instead of a 'notting hill', i know i am gonna be alright.

on my last year as a teenager...

2005-07-25T13:27:00.000+08:00

i will...

1. become a little bit more OC. i realized that being OC is actually an advantage, despite the negative rep it gets from psych books. i need to organize my life, what with all the orgwork that i have to accomplish on a weekly basis.

2. buy more sampaguita from the streetkids who knock on the car window every time the traffic light turns red.

3. learn how to play tennis. so my knowledge of this sport wont be limited to the tournaments i so love watching. (btw, i won the bet my dad and i had on who'd win wimbledon. wheee!) and so that when i meet roger federer, i'd play him good.

4. act my age. meaning, get my giddiness level down a notch. and try to stop squealing in public.

5. get on the deans list again.

6. ~~stop~~ minimize squandering my savings on DVD's, cd's, clothes, and chucks and overpriced coffee.

7. learn photoshop. so i can make myself look decent in pictures. no, just kidding.

8. read more. ever since the onset of college, i've missd out on a lot of good books because the leisure time i used to have in high school suddenly was just--gone. not that i don't read now. technically, i spend a good amount of hours every day of every week reading a LOT. i'm up to my neck in theo, philo, and psych readings. the only leisure reading i've done these past few weeks have consisted of blogs and the magazines. i don't even have time to read poems. or the newspaper! it would be nice to have time to read novels, for a change.

9. tell the people i lvoe that i love them. especially those who dont know yet.

10. be a little meaner. a little meanness is necessary to have things go your way.

11. open up a business. i dunno what yet, exactly. maybe sell accessories, or clothes or cookies or whatever. though my nonexistent marketing skills could be a problem.

12. express my negative feelings. im sick and tired of smiling when i actually feel shitty inside. from now on, i will start banging doors and throwing things.

13. ~~not be single anymore.~~ not that there's much i can do about that.

14. trust God more. He has always been so good to me, i don't think He deserves any doubt on my part.

15. write more. i don't care if reading it will be like listening to a novelty song on loop. practice makes perfect right?

i was tagged by tarei

2005-07-16T19:18:00.000+08:00

three names you go by:
1. yasha
2. yash
3. yushy

three screen names you have had:
1. camino_palmero24
2. yushy
3. angel_kayker (haha! my high school friends know why)

three physical things you like about yourself:
1. jawline
2. legs (?)
3. eyelashes

three physical things you don't like about yourself:
1. waist
2. nose
3. boobs

three parts of your heritage:
1. filipino
2. spanish
3. italian

three things that scare you:
1. being inadequate
2. loss
3. being alone

three of your everyday essentials:
1. celfone
2. coffee
3. si =)

three of your favorite musical artists:
(3 lang?)
1. imago
2. gin blossoms
3. dishwalla

three of your favorite songs:
(this is hard ha, there are a LOT)
1. i miss you by incubus
2. everything by lifehouse
3. friday i'm in love by the cure

three things you want in a relationship:
1. trust
2. love
3. fun

three lies and truths in no particular order:

lies:
1. i love biopsych
2. avril lavigne sings punk
3. i love volleyball

truth:
1. God is good all the time (ditto)
2. kung gusto, maraming paraan; kung ayaw, maraming dahilan
3. the one that gives you the most amount of joy is also the one that causes you the most amount of sorrow, albeit unwittingly

three physical things about the opposite sex that appeals to you:
1. eyebags (the natural ones, the little bulges under the eyes, not the dark circles you get from lack of sleep)
2. tummy
3. ismyl

three of your favorite hobbies:
1. indulging in movies and music and books
2. eating
3. shopping

three things you want to do really badly now:
1. tell him how much i like him
2. get the avalanche of readings i have to read (duh) over with
3. go to Europe

three careers you're considering/you've considered:
1. writer (my high school dream na lumalabo ng lumalabo. must start writing again)
2. designer/magazine editress in chief/stylist (dream dream dream...)
3. shrink

three places you want to go on vacation:
1. new york
2. paris
3. caribbean

three kid's names you like:
1. bianca sophia isabella
2. brandon
3. lyla

three things you want to do before you die:
1. find the love of my life
2. make a movie/write a really good book
3. create my own fashion line

three ways that you are stereotypically a boy:
1. i appreciate pretty girls
2. my hair's shorter than some boys'
3. i have no problem hanging out with guys

three ways that you are stereotypically a girl:
1. i love PINK (obvious ba?)
2. i'm giddy all the time
3. i find it soooo hard to make the first move

three celeb crushes: (check out the left sidebar)
1. johnny
2. benicio
3. gael
and many many many more.

sa babae..
1. kristin kreuk
2. jessica alba
3. james king

boys are blind

2005-07-12T23:51:00.000+08:00

open mic night! go go go!

2005-07-07T22:48:00.000+08:00

Pulp Fiction. Sin City. Double Indemnity. The Postman Always Rings Twice. LA Confidential.

These are but some of the popular titles that belong to the alternative film genre known as film noir. These films are characterized by such elements as a gritty, urban setting, a femme fatale, gangsters, flashbacks, a detective, and an overall dark and shadowy outlook. Martin Scorsese once described film noir as ‘city poetry.’ In the spirit of this, Heights presents the first Open Mic Night for the school year, with this film genre as its theme. This event is intended to give the Ateneo community a venue to display their literary talents for the community.

Get caught. See you at the scene of the crime.

stress, what STRESS?

2005-07-07T18:37:00.000+08:00

*bleepity bleeping bleep bleep bleeep stress na 'to bleepity bleeping putanesca naman oh*

Don't get me wrong, I love my orgs, and I love my work. This is why I'm ranting here, so I don't have to end up bitching in real life. But this week's just been soooooo *insert most intense synonym for amazingly stressed out you can think of here*. Plus I had a total of 3 tests this week in 3 different subjects, and a group project in theo. argh.

Thank God for the little good things that happened this week that despite all this, i'm still smiling. =)

wimbledon

2005-07-02T23:27:00.000+08:00

its andy roddick vs. roger federer again, for the 2nd year in a row, at the wimbledon finals! my dad and i have a bet going, with money involved, as to who'll be the champ this year. he's betting andy's capable of beating fed this time around, while i'm rooting for roger. as much as i looove both of them, i had to pick a side, and duh, of course i picked the world number 1 (but i still love you, andy! feeling close? haha!)

one thing about andy though is that he gives the best speeches. he's hilarious even when he loses. when he lost the 2004 wimbledon final to roger last year (twas the 5th match he lost to federer out of the 6 times they met on court back then, if im not mistaken) he was still cracking jokes ('i came at him with the kitchen sink, he threw me the bathtub'). haha!

can't wait to watch the finals! in the meantime, let us drool.

too bad maria sharapova didn't make it to the finals. serena got her revenge through venus.

PMS?

2005-07-02T21:41:00.000+08:00

im sick. again. for the nth time in the past 2 months. this is getting annoying. i'm not usually sickly. must be the stress. i even had to skip the pathways/PEERS activity today coz i was incapable of dragging my feverish butt out of bed =( didn't get to see my kids, *sniff* maybe next week. argh.

this week left me so burned out, physically, emotionally, and mentally. there was a point when i felt so bad that i actually burst into tears on thursday night the minute i got home. don't ask. can you believe that? X to PMS. grrr.

but, thankfully, i'm almost back to my usual giddy self again. spending an entire day in bed armed with only a remote control and setting foot outside of the room only to visit the fridge occasionally can do wonders for your health =D

i rarely get mushy on this blog, so pagbigyan nyo na ako

2005-06-29T22:27:00.000+08:00

Love Song For No One
(John Mayer)

Staying home alone on a friday
Flat on the floor looking back
On old love
Or lack thereof
After all the crushes are faded
And all my wishful thinking was wrong
Im jaded
I hate it

Im tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

Searching all my days just to find you
Im not sure who I’m looking for
Ill know it
When I see you
Until then, Ill hide in my bedroom
Staying up all night just to write
A love song for no one

Im tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?
I could have met you in a sandbox
I could have passed you on the sidewalk
Could I have missed my chance
And watched you walk away?

Im tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here
So tired of being alone
So hurry up and get here

Youll be so good
Youll be so good for me

chickarazzi

2005-06-23T20:27:00.000+08:00

also last friday, tara and i watched mr. and mrs. smith at gateway. it was a fun movie, from the moment the gigantic images of angelina and brad appeared on screen to the time the credits started rolling. what made it even more fun was the audience. nakakaaliw talaga, kasi parang nanonood kami ng FRIENDS, yung mey canned laughter. every hirit and joke that the scriptwriters threw at us was very much appreciated, kulang nalang mey prompter na 'applause!' or 'laughter!' or 'swoon!' kasi on cue kaming lahat tumatawa at mag 'oooh' every time angelina and brad would emerge. never pa akong nakaexperience ng ganun, yung di naman kami magkakakilala pero game sila, ang ingay lahat pero nakakatuwa. like once, when adam brody appeared on screen tara and i were like 'uuui! si seth! ang hot niya!' and then those sitting beside us and on the row behind were all like 'oh yeah! he's the guy from the OC!' and when we both went 'take it! it's yours!' (which came out much louder than we meant) when brad said something similar everyone was like 'troy! troy!' fuun! and i have accepted the fact na bagay talaga si brad at angelina. to say they've got chemistry is an understatement.

* * *

after that, we hung out at fully booked for an hour or so. it's been a while since i'd had time to make tambay in a bookstore. ang bad namin because we discretely opened a P1000+++ book on film noir to sneak a peek inside (astig siya! if i had money i'd buy it) and the GQ magazine issue with jessica alba on the cover. im sure a lot of guys who chance upon that opened issue on the bookshelf would thank us for ripping it open, so they can now openly drool. i don't blame them, jessica alba on a bed only half-covered by blankets...you get the picture.

***

also that same evening, we had our traditional (yes! traditional na sya!=)) sleepover/movie marathon. i finally got to see happy campers! well, tarei's and honey's obsession is contagious. i was never really a super james king fanatic. (hello? she was in bulletproof monk. why james, WHY?) but now, im bordering on fanaticism. she's adorable. she's the only human being who can get away with gigantic eyebags---as in di lang basta bags, you could fit another eyeball in them, (peace to james fans!)---and still look so damn pretty.

***

speaking of people to whom i am on the verge of fanaticism, last last sunday, watched the mtv movie awards. i am now officially a rachel mcadams fan. (she's the mean girl in mean girls, and the hot chic in the hot chic) i consider mean girls more as rachel's movie rather than lindsay lohan's. when she and ryan gosling re-enacted their kiss in the notebook when they accepted the best kiss award, complete with buwelo coz she came from the opposite end of the stage and literally leapt into his arms...whoa! ang cutecutecute nila! plus she got about 3 awards that night, including best breakthrough female and best on screen team (the plastics), wahaha!

***

Incubus has a new song out! i think it's called 'make your move.' and a new album's sure to come out soon. i wanna see the video! Braaandooooooooonn!! *drool*

***

ang showbiz ba ng entry na 'to? sorry, fanatic mode *wink*

happy happy joy joy

2005-06-21T19:35:00.000+08:00

last friday, i was hanging out at the PEERS bench when my mom suddenly called me up, telling me she was at the apple center in SM, and asking me whether i wanted a pink, blue or green i-pod mini. she said she had to buy something there and that since she was in the area anyway, she decided to buy it right then. of course, the first thing that came to my mind was totoo ba ito? i swear, i had to pause for a few seconds before answering her question, i barely managed to voice out 'PINK!'

the entire afternoon, it never really sunk in, but then when i got home it was there! it's been a loooong time since i've had a surprise like this. ive been asking, no begging, my parents for an i-pod mini for almost a year now, to the point when i semi-gave up and started saving up for it, to no avail. (im not exactly the thriftiest person. ended up squandering my savings on dvd's, ukay-ukay, books and FOOD, actually food took the biggest chunk out of my 'stash'). i guess all that paglalambing and subtle hirits worked, plus maybe coz i made the DL last sem :P or maybe it's an advanced birthday gift..hmmm. wheeeeeeee!

it felt like it was my birthday and i had just entered the door and then everybody yells 'surprise!', complete with confetti and champagne corks popping everywhere. it more than made up for the crappy first week of school. (had to load rev, deal with a dept secretary possibly having that monthly crimson tide, sana yun na nga yun kasi ang sad naman kung ganun talaga siya all the time, and read a pile of readings. when i say pile, i'm not using it as a figure of speech ha. pile talaga siya.) enough ranting. nothing can bring down this euphoria. wahoo!

love you mommy and daddy! thank you God! wahoooo!!

Hau'oli!

2005-06-19T15:11:00.000+08:00

*this is a long overdue update*

ORSEM this year was a one of a kind experience that im very glad i went through. i am still amazed at how, despite the fact that we had to be there at 5:30 AM on the first day and 6AM on the next two (one second late and you miss the whole day. im not kidding.) every single volunteer still had the energy of the duracell bunny and the enthusiasm of a professional cheerleader. it was three days of running around school like a tour guide spewing out random factoids about the different buildings in ateneo, shouting, bouncing up and down with enthusiasm while facilitating group dynamics, fanning about 25 different freshies for hours at a time, and doing the chuga, banana and screaming egaaaaad!

at the start, i thought being a TnT was all about acting perky and dancing on top of chairs waving block cards and encouraging freshies to come hither. but no. it was all that, and much, much more. it felt like my partner and i (and all the other TnT's for that matter) suddenly sprung 25 kids in a day, having to make sure that they were comfortable all the time, keeping them cool and making sure they got their lunch, and (God forbid) not losing anyone of them in a sea of 2000 other freshmen. AND all the while grinning from ear to ear with smiles that'll give ronald mcdonald a run for his money. surprisingly, even with the sudden truckload of responsibility that was suddenly dumped unto us, i enjoyed every single minute of it. forget personal hygiene. forget poise. but i didn't care. nevermind if i found myself voiceless and bedridden the succeeding days after ORSEM (due also in part to the fact that i got wet from head to foot after O-night with water plus remnants of C2). i loved it.

but of course, the best part of it all was meeting my freshies. they were 24 incredibly sweet, super fun and super game individuals, and they really made TnT'ing such a joy. i was lucky i got assigned to a psych block, and i feel even more lucky i got C1. im not exaggerating, but they really were the block from heaven. all the worst case scenarios we practiced during training didn't happen. i found myself tearing up when i read their 'secret messages.' it was incredibly touching. i love them to death. and a big THANK YOU to my partner allan, and our 2 LOGs jen and lizzie. wouldn't have survived without them!

my english block was kind of rocky in the beginning, coz i guess everyone was tired from the past two days and adjusting once again to a different group of people, but in the end, they turned out to be so much fun! another huge THANKS to my 3rd day partner, emil and our LOG's nic and ail. lifesavers!

by the end of Day 3, some of us TnT's were either crying or on the verge of tears, both out of fulfillment and frustration or just plain happy. i said this once before, but ill say it again. they were about 140 of the perkiest, funkiest, spunkiest, fun-nest people ive ever met. aside from the ORSEM experience, the TnT experience was one of the best things i've ever been through in my entire college life.

wonderful. amazing. exhausting. exciting. energizing. fulfilling. that's ORSEM for ya.

good news/bad news

2005-06-05T17:05:00.000+08:00

good news: i got a B+ in math12! =D cowabunga! =D
bad news: my random number for reg is 532 =( (konek? wala lang)

good news: two days nlang ORSEM na! and my partners and i are done with our planning for GD's etc.! yaayness! =D
bad news: havent prepared my index cards for the campus tours and haven't read the 5-page ignatian spirituality summary =(

good news: my fever and sore throat are history, thanks to banigs of biogesic, antibiotics and lots of vitamin C. whoopee! =D
bad news: i seem to have developed a sudden bout of insomnia. i mean, it used to be normal for me sleep at 3am before, but that was then. lately, i considered myself lucky to have the ability to sleep as early as 930pm at times. these past few nights, i've been tossing and turning in bed until about 3am, unable to sleep. why now? pano na yan pag ORSEM? call time namin 530am! lagot!

good news: ive finally finished fixing about 6 permutations of my first sem schedule. =D yahoo!!
bad news: armed with the suckiest random number i've ever had, i probably wont get the classes i want anyway. i am so dreading reg tomorrow. =(

good news: i finally started to write the beginnings of a kilig/emo/senti post. i was telling my friends before that i seem to have the inability to do this, coz i dunno, i hate it when others see through my walking-on-sunshine/stress?-what-stress?/heartbroken?-ako?-okay-ka-lang? guise. and also because there are certain people who i wouldn't want reading my giddy little schoolgirl posts, if you know what i mean *wink*
bad news: i chickened out. di ko pinost. someday maybe. someday.=(

empire records

2005-06-03T13:31:00.000+08:00

WANTED: Empire Records dvd. this is a desperate plea. i blame this sudden need to watch it on mtv, for showing the gin blossoms video again after all these years. mamahalin ko ang magpapahiram sa akin nito habangbuhay. salamat.

sin city

2005-06-03T12:02:00.000+08:00

watched sin city with peter, jay, and jomel, yesterday evening at gateway. it was so deliciously violent. even though i was nursing a low fever and had the beginnings of a sore throat and even though my head was aching halfway through the movie because of sensory overload, i still enjoyed every bloody minute of it. at the end of the film, the four of us were debating how josh hartnett's character fit into the whole thing. finally figured it out (thanks tarei). apparently, he's from the fourth short story, the hired assasin. so now, why did he kill marley shelton's character??

anyway, bottom line is, i loved it and everyone in it. please give me a minute to profess my love.

i love you, benicio del toro. because you're still so hot even with a prosthetic nose and with your head dunked into a toilet bowl.
i love you, jessica alba (in a totally non-lesbian sense) because you worked it with the rope! i want a pole in my bedroom. wala lang.
i love you alexis bledel, because you made me laugh out loud since you were still in gilmore girl mode in the film.
i love you, devon aoki, because i thought miho was the coolest character in the film.
i love your red chucks, clive owen. i liked lancelot better in king arthur but i loved you in closer, and i love you more now.
i love your eyes, elijah wood. i've loved them since flipper.
i love your hair, james king. and the way you slapped marv. you're the only one ive seen who's booty shakes while slapping someone. i want a heart-shaped bed.
i love you brittany murphy, even though i hated your guts when you played tai (tama ba spelling?) in clueless.
i love you marley shelton, and your hairdo. i want to cut my hair shorter now.
i love you rosario dawson, even though parang lalamunin mo ang lips ni dwight.
i love you josh hartnett, because you're in this film. though i don't have a crush on you.
i love you nick stahl, even though you play a pedophile with yellow blood.
i love you, mickey rourke, panalo ka talaga. ang tigas mo. sobra.
i never thought i'd say this, but i love you bruce willis.

i love you, frank miller. i love you, robert rodriguez. i love you, quentin tarantino. i can't wait for sin city two.

happy/tired

2005-06-03T11:41:00.000+08:00

i spent the past weekend with about 150 of the spunkiest, funkiest, nicest, most hyper people ive ever met. twas a weekend of running, screaming, dancing, singing, laughing, and more laughing and S.E.X.! (not the actual act ha..wahaha). TnT's rock!

i can't wait for ORSEM. can't wait to meet my freshies. can't wait to chuga. and do the banana!

egaaaaaaaaaaad!!!

nat does a demi

2005-05-22T21:01:00.000+08:00

natalie portman shaved her head. was so shocked to see footage of her at the Cannes filmfest with a new hairdo, or rather the lack-of. kudos to nat for pulling it off, though. there are very few women who could do so (i.e. demi, sinead o'connor..) ganda parin nya.

star wars episode 3!

2005-05-22T19:16:00.000+08:00

*in nagfifeeling rotten tomato mode =)*

saw Revenge of the Sith at gateway last friday with jaton, em, crisgee, migoy, kae, and myka. it was deliciously dark, though not exactly the 'perfect' movie i imagined it would be, considering it's the final installment in the star wars saga. but still, the minute the star wars theme started playing with the words 'a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away..' appearing on screen, i could feel the familiar heart-pounding feeling of nostalgia and anticipation, i mean, its star wars! ive been watching it since i was a kid!

it had its high points: great fight scenes (was thrilled to see yoda kick-ass with a lightsaber again!), amazing special effects (duh), some dramatic highlights (felt so disturbed when anakin killed the younglings =( and padme giving birth to luke and lea plus the final scenes were really touching), and a great cast. galing ni ewan mcgregor. when he was screaming 'you were the chosen one! dot dot dot' i almost teared up. natalie portman was beautiful, especially in padme's funeral scene, with flowers on her hair and all. her wardrobe was beautiful. even her nightgowns were beautiful (padme actually sleeps like that?haha!). but her costumes weren't as extravagant as the ones she wore in the past. and hayden...*sigh* need i sa more? he was 50% of the reason i watched episode 2 before. i didn't really dig the new hairstyle though. he really bulked up for this movie *mmmmm* hihi

however, i also felt somewhat dissapointed at how the climax, i.e. the scene where anakin decides to go over to the 'dark side', turned out. it was kind of unconvincing for me. or maybe i just couldnt believe that anakin would go over and become darth vader just because he feared padme would die, when he wasn't even 100% sure that she would, and he was gullible enough to completely fall for chancellor palpatine's offer that he would be given the power to save her. and in the scene where he first puts on the vader costume, i was hoping for a mroe dramatic entrance, you know, with smoke and all and darth vader slowly emerging as the chancellor speaks 'Lord Vader, Rise' like in the trailer. (okay, maybe that sounds kind of cheesy =)) AND speaking of cheesy...ang cheesy ni padme and anakin! ALL their dialogue with each other were loaded with mush. haha! but i guess it's forgivable, i mean, hayden and nat pull it off, hihi. and im a sucker for mush anyway =P

but all in all, i still loved it. i think its the best star wars film. im sad star wars is over, just like i was sad when the LOTR trilogy ended. *sigh* oh well, fortunately, star wars ended with a definite BANG.

TnT!

2005-05-09T22:15:00.000+08:00

i passed the tnt interviews! *jumps up and down and yells with glee* yaaaaaaaaaayy! after squeezing out every ounce of shame in my body to act as TNT Barbie, dressed from head to foot in all pink (yes, literally) together with a BIG 'pricetag' with the words TnT Barbie written in barbie font strapped to my waist (thanks mikes!) AND after dancing ballet to the tune of runaway while acting hungry, constipated, sick, epileptic, and hyper (in that order)...i made it!

(if that extremely long sentence didn't make any sense, im sorry. just really ecstatic/relieved. my brain cells tend to stop functioning at times like these) =)

ateneo survey (got this from schone_free)

2005-05-06T23:07:00.000+08:00

1. Ano student number mo?
--> 030303 (yeah, ang daling sauluhin noh)

2. Nakapasa ka ba o waitlisted?
--> Nakapasa!

3. Pano mo nalaman ang ACET results?
--> hmm, i think i checked the website

4. First choice mo ba ang Ateneo?
--> nope, UP, pero im really glad i went to ADMU

5. Alam mo ba ang ACET score mo?
--> nope

6. Ano ang first choice mong course?
--> BS Psychology

7. E second choice?
--> AB Comm

8. Ano course mo ngayon?
--> AB Psychology

9. May plano ka bang magshift?
--> Nagshift na ako last year, from BS to AB

10. Chinito/chinita ka ba?
--> hmmm...sbi nila oo, pero di nman ako chinese

11. Taga-Ateneo High-Manila?
--> hindi, dahil babae ako

12. Nag-enjoy ka ba sa Orsem?
--> OO! kahit sobrang pamatay ang init, at sobrang kapagod maglakad around campus, enjoy cya sobra!

13. Saang gate ka pumasok nung first day?
--> Gate 2 ata

14. Nakapag-dorm ka na ba?
--> Hindi pa

15. Nagka-F ka na ba?
--> oo, sa long test sa theo, at sa practical test sa zoo lab, pero hindi pa sa final grade, (wag nman sana)

16. Nagka-A?
--> Yes! unang A ko genpsych! tpos devpsych, tska History!

17. Highest grade?
--> A

18. Lowest grade?
--> C - Theology! Tska lit kay acuna =(

19. Worst experience sa ADMU?
--> hmmm...sikretong malupit :P

20. Lagi ka bang umaattend ng klase?
--> hmmm..oo

21. Anong org mo?
--> HEIGHTS, PEERS, Psyche

22. Ilang units na ang naipasa mo?
--> uhm, di ko lam eh, pero wala pa nman akong binabagsak

23. Nangangarap ka bang maglaude?
--> wishing and hoping, haha

24. Kailan ka gagraduate?
--> March 2007!

25. Fave teacher?
--> Ms Jopie Nolasco! (genpsych teacher)

26. Worst teacher?
--> acuna

27. Fave subject?
--> gen psych

28. Worst subject?
--> Theology!

29. Favorite landmark sa ADMU?
--> bench sa SEC walkway, sa tapat ng CTC

30. Favorite Building?
--> hmmm...socsci

31. Fave kainan?
--> Healthy Kitchen! diet forever!

32. Estudyante ba ang bayad mo sa jeep?
--> Hindi, kasi nagt-trike at LRT ako pag nagcocommute

33. Lagi ka ba sa lib?
--> tuwing hellweek lang

34. Nagpunta ka ba sa infirmary nung minsang magkasakit ka?
--> Oo. medyo madaming beses na, especially when its that time of the month, you know, girly pains

35. May crush ka ba sa campus?
--> Yeeeaaahhh...=)

36. BF/GF?
--> wala. *sniff*

37. May balak kang mag-MS, PhD?
--> Oo, sana sa states

38. Anu-ano ang mga na-PE mo?
--> 101: aero, modern jazz, tska tai-chi

39. Kamusta ang block niyo?
--> C2 ROCKS! the most beautiful block on earth

40. Nakapanood ka na ng graduation?
--> Sa Ateneo? Hindi pa.

41. Memorize mo ba ang Song for Mary?
--> *sheepish* uhm...hindi...

42. Memorize mo ba ang Fabilioh?
--> oo, wahaha

43. E ang Halikinu?
--> oo din, haha! (yung mga cheers memorized eh noh, pero yung song for Mary hindi, haha!)

44. E ang blue eagle spelling?
--> uh, duh. amrunong kasi akong mag-spell

45. Member ka ng Team Ateneo?
--> Nope.

46. Sino paborito mong UAAP basketball player?
--> dati, c wesley gonzalez, now, c JC Intal, hehe

47. Nakaperfect ka na ba ng exam?
--> Hahaha. Yes! Math 11, yung first long test! (isang malaking himala)

48. Ano ang ayaw mo sa Hell Week?
--> geez...where do i start? cguro yung halos magkalokaloka ka na sa mga deadlines at dumadami na wrinkles mo sa kaka-isip sa mga gagawin mo

49. Dito ka ba natuto uminom ng beer?
--> actually, oo. di lang beer

50. Dito ka ba nadevirginize?
--> NO

51. Ano gusto mo sa school natin?
--> mga tao, magandang campus, mga nakatutuwang prof

52. Ano ang ayaw mo?
--> mainit, mga ibang tao (pero unti lang naman, wala akong kagalit)

53. Bumili ka na ba sa A-shop?
--> oo, yung tshirt na mey isang malaking A na blue

54. Maganda ba ID pic mo?
--> hay naku. di nga nila pinalitan yung id pic ko this year eh, kahit nagpapicture nman ako. hmph.

55. May ginawa ka na bang illegal sa loob ng [campus]?
--> hmm..none that i know of...

56. Nakabili ka na ng gamit sa National Katips?
--> Oh geezus yes! My mecca for being the school supply junkie that I am!

57. Nakapag-Starbucks ka na ba sa Katips?
--> oo nman. hindi na nga ako nakakagalaw ng maayos kapag walang kape eh. seryoso.

que horror!

2005-04-28T20:36:00.000+08:00

mey mali sa mundo, o sa america lang siguro. bakit ang mga taong talentado tulad nila nikko smith, nadia, ANWAR, at constantine ay natatanggal sa american idol, samantalang ang mga taong tulad ni SCOTT SAVOL ay napupunta pa sa grupong mey pinakamataas na mga boto? bakit? bakit? BAKIT? ganun ba ka tone-deaf at BULAG ang mga bumoboto? pasensya na, nakaka imbiyerna lang talaga.

constantine!! *sniff*

GO BO BICE!!

math and i

2005-04-27T23:03:00.000+08:00

i have one subject for the summer. math12.

there are few things in this world more satisfying than solving a particularly difficult math problem, or figuring out the right equation of the line, or coming up with a correct truth table, or getting a vowel in a long test (in very rare occasions).

there are also few things in this world more headache inducing than sitting through one and a half hours of numbers and letters and weird looking signs in the blistering heat of summer.

i love/hate math.

happy happy joy joy

2005-04-15T20:47:00.000+08:00

a funny thing happened when i got my grades last monday. when i got the slip of paper at the socsci foyer, i felt sooo dissapointed coz i thought i was .02 points short of the Deans List. i was even complaining to jomel as we walked back to SEC. when we got to the bench, jb passed by and we exchanged report cards. then he suddenly said 'congratulations!' and i said 'di nga eh, kulang ako ng .02'. BUT apparently, the QPI i saw was my yearly QPI and not the semestral. i was so dissapointed when i initially saw it that i didnt bother looking at it again. *smacks self on the forehead* can i just say BULAG KA BA YASH?! i was so thrilled that i started squealing and jumping up and down on the SEC walkway.

finally...after 4 semesters of college and constantly wishing and hoping and toiling and studying (although still accompanied by the usual bouts of laziness and proscrastination) i finally achieved that ever elusive QPI! yeah baby!

(im not gloating, im just damn happy) =)

from inferno and back

2005-03-22T19:12:00.000+08:00

i realize i've been an idle blogger for the past month. blame it on the mother of all hell ~~weeks~~ months i've just been through. i swear, never in all my years in school (from pre-school to now) have i endured such a humongous pile of schoolwork (long tests/finals, papers, espanol orals, 'creative' projects, reports, org work, etc. etc....) . im not exaggerating. this one definitely set an all-time record on the wrinkle-meter. apparently, hell weeks get worse as college progresses, or so ive noticed. but the important thing is, i fought, and i SURVIVED! yayness!

special thanks to pepsi x, red bull, red bull barako, extra joss, and seattle's best coffee for making me function properly, =) i couldn't have survived without you.

anyway, last friday, we had our year-end block party at my house to cap off the sem. twas a whole lotta fun! sayang nga lang not everyone could make it, but it was still a blast! i have to admit, though this sem brought on the ultimate hellweek, i'd have to say it has been the best sem of college, thanks to GREAT teachers and subjects (though sci10 is debatable), out of town trips, orgs and of course...

thanks C2 for the BEST sem ever! i miss you guys already! see ya'all in june!

***

and tomorrow, im off to zambales for the Holy Week and the two weeks before summer classes start (hello, math12). my cousins and pamangkins are comin over for the Holy week, too, cant wait to see them. and the beach!!! tata!

gael y diego

2005-02-26T21:21:00.001+08:00

gael es muy gwapisimo!!

diego tambien!!

im officially obsessed. [swooooon]

well, actually i have been for a loooong time.

kung sino mang nakakaalam kung saan ako makakahanap ng DVD ng amores perros, the motorcycle diaries, bad education at nicotina, or kung mey magpapahiram (hehe) please tell me... kahit galugarin ko man lahat ng tindahan ng dvd, kahit original o pirated bakit wala ako mahanap?=(huhu. kung meron kayo, mamahalin ko kayo habangbuhay! =)

phantom of the opera

2005-02-20T19:10:00.000+08:00

one word to describe this movie: breathtaking. from when the cobweb-filled opera house transformed into the glorious place it was before, to the final scene with the phantom's rose on christine's grave...WOW! though the phantom was supposed to be repulsive and ugly, gerard butler was sooo sexy and perfect that i found myself rooting for him insted of raoul. if i were christine and he started singing to me, my joints would probably turn to jell-o. i really wanna watch the play on Broadway. i've never seen it, but my dad used to play the soundtrack often when i was a kid, and ive loved the songs ever since. i know everyone says the play is better, but until i have enough cash to go to New York and watch it on Broadway, this is fine by me.

ive always loved musicals. this is probably due tot he fact that as a kid, and when there wasnt any school or when i wasnt out playing with the neighbor's kids, i used to watch my dad's collection of betamax tapes (yes, betamax pa nun!) of rodger's and hammerstein musicals (the sound of music, south pacific, king and i...) and other movies---like west side story, my fair lady, toast of new orleans etc.---over and over again. whenever my mom and dad would leave for work, my yaya would start playing the tapes to make me stop crying. i loved them just as much as i loved disney films.

why arent there more new musicals being made nowadays? the last musical that came out before phantom was chicago two years ago. is it because hollywood is running out broadway plays to remake? why don't they make original ones like moulin rouge?

this was a great way to de-stress after a whirlwind week of long tests, projects and org activities. but...it's not yet over. actually, that's just the prologue to the avalanche of schoolwork that's coming in the next few weeks. i wanna scream.

3, 2, 1..................waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

a very long engagement

2005-02-08T21:32:00.000+08:00

after a veeeery loooong wait (november palang inaabangan ko na 'to!), finally saw it last saturday. my dad's a big fan of movies set in World War I, World War II, the Civil War, the Vietnam War, i.e. basta war movie, so i dragged him and my mom to see it. i luv audrey tautou. she was sooo adorable in amelie, and she still is in this film. and you know who else is adorable? GASPARD ULLIEL! (the guy who plays manech) *swoon* =)

the film revolves around a girl's search for her missing fiancee, who she believes is still alive after WWI was over. her fiancee was supposed to have been executed for self mutilation along with four others, but she believes that he survived. she tracks down the people related to his four comrades in order to find clues as to what really happened to the five of them. in the process, she discovers various secrets about the lives of his comrades, as well as the true story behind his dissapearance. (jodi foster even had a cameo as the wife of one of the soldiers). the ending was bittersweet, but still satisfying. i loved the fact that its not your typical depressing and gory war movie. it mixed romance and mystery and depicted true horrors of war. i was amused with this little 'game' audrey's character likes to play, the one where she goes 'if i reach the bend before the car does, manech will come back to me' or 'if if chickpea (her dog) enters the room before im called down for dinner, manech is still alive,' coz i do that a lot, too, heehee.

***

speaking of audrey tautou, she's been cast as sophie neveu in the film version of the Da Vinci Code. (im already picturing her as sophie while reading the book, hihi) cant wait!!!

queen of procrastination

2005-02-06T20:55:00.000+08:00

i promised myself i'd study for eco this weekend, coz tabula rasa ako sa subject na yan mula nung nagsimula ang school after the christmas break. however, i couldn't tear my eyes away from reading the Da Vinci Code. (yes, im only reading the da vinci code now, and yes, im probably the only person i know who hasnt read it yet). once you pop, you cant stop. so it's sunday night, and ive only gotten as far as marginal cost, which is one of the first lessons we took up. in other words, ive barely studied. this is what i get for not listening in class since who knows when. im so gonna regret this.

plus ive gotta make a valentine card for spanish. and prepare for a project and a report for sci10.

oh well, bahala na. wala nmang pasok bukas eh. bukas na yung card. pati yung sci10. and sa friday pa nman ang test eh. [rationalizing, rationalizing] back to the da vinci code. =P

zambales!

2005-02-01T20:22:00.000+08:00

last saturday, went to zambales with my blockies (cams, jay, jomel, jp, mikes, sha, tungyu). sang our hearts out the entire trip going there and back. (o! Diyos ko! ano ba naman ito, diba walanghiya......if it makes you happyyyyy...) whiterock (the resort itself) was dissapointing. while we were there, it was as if everything that could go wrong actually did. ever heard of the saying 'looks can be deceiving?' go to whiterock and see what it really means. good thing we stayed at By The Sea (super thanks to jelly for the discount!ill make it up to you!) dad came in the evening and brought us food (i luv him!) anyway, as if to make up for the whole whiterock fiasco, we spent the rest of the weekend in utter bliss. we danced in the moonlight on the beach (mey wedding reception dun sa resort so naki-share kami sa sounds, hehe) slathered beer onto ourselves as a substitute for tanning lotion, ate supah size servings of food at The Coffee Shop (parang nagburn na din ako ng calories sa kaka nguya), had a marathon laughing session (the equivalent of a hundred crunches), camwhorring...etc.etc.

thanks to the bitter bratinellas for one of the fun-nest weekends ever!

***

couldnt help but feel nostalgic while we were in subic, especially when we passed by SBMA and seeing what used to be my everyday route to school. i miss olongapo =( i rarely get to go there and make the rounds since our house in zambales is a 40 minute drive away, and we already moved out of our house in gapo after high school. since college, i can count on two hands the number of times na naglagalag kami dun and ive gone back to my school exactly once. nung first time kong bumalik dun nung sembreak ng freshman year, i actually felt like crying. dami nang nagbago, mas civilized na cya ngayon, hehe (langhiya, kung kelan kami naggraduate dun pa nagsipagsulputan ang sibil, pier1, seattle's best, pancake, house, yellow cab, at mcdo etc. etc.)

pero kahit na dati wala pa sila, love ko parin ang gapo. i miss having after-school munchfests at marios, playing billiards at brosis, watching movies at times square (cge na nga, pati na sa admiral, kahit patago pa kmi kung manood dun, haha!right abby?), tambay sa boardwalk...i even miss the dispensary where we used to hold our school plays/jingle practices (thanks to chum and chi, hehe). i miss walking from the Main Gate to our house on 9th st with darz (nakatira lang cya sa kabilang kanto), pati ang mabahong ilog papasok sa main gate. i miss RSHS, kahit ito'y nasa kaliblib libliban na bundok ng SBMA. i miss waiting for Winstar coasters or buses sa kalayaan (ang literal na bundok kung saan naroon ang RS) til mey stars at moon na sa sky; going around the night market na ngayon ay wala na at kapalit nya ay nagtayo sila ng isang 'mall' (take note of the quotation marks); 'internetting' at KBPS; the OCC, where our prom was held; and of course, our house on 9th, the site of numerous sleepovers, group studies/gabfests, and our infamous cookie party...atbp. actually, i miss gapo, period. and though im happy with life as a 'manillan' now, ill always love gapo.

forgive me for the senti-ness and incoherency of this entry. i honestly dont know where this came from. bigla nalang lumabas. sa tinagal-tagal ko nang umalis sa gapo, ngayon lang 'to lumabas. tama na nga, ayoko namang maiyak. cge, adios!

pebrero

2005-01-31T19:00:00.000+08:00

ganito nalang lagi ang istorya ng buhay ko *sniff*
but im happy
i will be bitter no more

if it makes you happy...=)

amazing race

2005-01-29T13:12:00.000+08:00

the chicken run was fun! at lunchtime, jomel, mikes, jay, RA and I went to mikes' house to get the 'ingredients' for the killer shake the contestants had to drink at the manang's station. shopped for liver and milk (nice combination) at robinson's, then drove around in search of a petshop that sells guppy. bakit ba kung kelan kelangan mo ng petshop, lahat ng madaanan mo sarado o talagang nagsara na? luckily, we finally found one near UP.

at the race, nev and i were stationed at meron lagoon with two plastic bags full of guppy. pasaway na mga fish yan, iniwan lang namin ng mga 2 minuto, nagsipag-talunan na sila sa labas nung balde. tuloy, di pa naguumpisa yung race, nagpupulot na kami ng mga isda sa lupa at dun sa bench kung saan nakapatong yung timba. i think i smelled fishy the entire race...literally. pero kakabilib yung mga contestants. they were supposed to transfer the fish into a cup at the other side of the lagoon using their bare hands. yung iba, nilagay pa nila sa shirt nila yung mga fish. at willing pa silang lumusong sa meron lagoon! kala kasi ata nung isa, andun yung mga kukunin nilang fish. ngyeks, ang hirap ata nun kung huhulihin pa nila sa lagoon dba! =D

after the race, nag bingo kami for a pair of nike sneakers. sayang di ako nanalo! dalawa nalang sana bingo na eh! hmph! hehe

***

later on that night, bumped into tara and boyee while watching 'halo-halo,' the SOSS week finale. (mojofly played earlier in the evening, ganda ni lougee!!my gaaash!!) dropped by CERSA's open house to pick up ate pi, then went back to the quad to watch Imago and Cambio. galiiiiiiing nilaaaaaaaaa!! ang cute nung kapatid ni jao mapa, yung guitarist ng cambio, lalo na nung tumaalon-talon cya while singing divisoria.
the highlight of the night came after cambio's set. i really wanted to buy imago's 2nd cd, but aia said earlier onstage that they werent able to bring any. luckily, sabi ni kris ng cambio meron daw pala! we 'stalked' the imago members and got them to sign the cd's (wheeee!) ang bait ni aia! sabi pa nya 'i like ur hair,' heehee (kababawan ko, oo na) napagastos nanaman ako impulsively, i rarely buy orig cd's nowadays, puor download nlang, pero it was sooo worth it. asteeeg ng album nila!

2005-01-27T22:10:00.000+08:00

i was walking on sunshine...
then i got burned

i want a little sister

2005-01-25T21:26:00.000+08:00

last friday afternoon, a couple of my blockies (jomel, cams, nev & jp) and i went to the merriam pre-school to observe for our devpsy paper. i really want a little sister. seeing all those adorable kids reinvigorated my desire to have one. i remember asking my parents when i was in grade school if we could adopt one, but obviously, they said no =(. although there was a time when i didnt want a sibling coz i couldnt bare the thought of someone messing up my barbies and mixing the colors of my play doh (hey, i was a kid!), but when i grew older, seeing some of my friends with their little sisters made me feel i was missing out on something. i really really want someone to call me 'ate' and bug me while im watching tv, or ask me to braid her hair, or borrow my clothes, or hug me just coz she feels like it, or tell me kilig stories like if her crush borrowed her eraser or whatever...haaaay...pero tanggap ko na imposible na mangyari yun. =( thank God for my nieces, sila nalang paggigigilan ko. hehe =)

starry starry night

2005-01-25T21:03:00.000+08:00

dahil february na next week...
i dug this up, a friend of mine posted this along time ago, nagandahan lang ako =)

Awit Kay Ana (Eduardo Jose E. Calasanz)
Walang ginagawa ang mga bituin
Kundi pagmasdan ang mga mangingibig.

Isang gabi, kapag ikaw ay umiibig,
Tumingala ka sa mga bituin.
Malasin mo ang kanilang ningning,
Ligaya mo’y sinasalamin.

Mabait ang mga bituin.
Sa mga mangingibig
Isa lamang ang hiling:
Umibig, umibig at umibig
Nang may magawa ang mga bituin.

Walang ginagawa ang mga bituin
Kundi pagmasdan ang mga mangingibig.

Isang gabi, kung masawi ka sa pag-ibig
Tumingala kang muli sa mga bituin;
Pati liwanag, nagiging dilim
At tamis ng puso’y dahan-dahang umaasim.

Malupit ang mga bituin.
Sa mga bigo sa pag-ibig
Labis ang hinihiling:
Umibig, umibig at umibig pa rin,
Nang may magawa ang mga bituin.

finally!

2005-01-22T19:24:00.000+08:00

matapos kong magpakabaliw sa mga HTML codes na mala-matrix, ive finally figured out how they actually work! kala ko dati yung paglay-out, cut and paste lang ng pics etc, well apparently, hindi pala. anyway, im finally done! *raises fists up in the air*

sunnysideup

2005-01-20T01:30:00.000+08:00

i'm walkin' on sunshine...woah!

testing

2005-01-12T20:24:00.000+08:00

testing 1,2,3

rotten tomato

2005-01-07T23:43:00.002+08:00

had another dvd marathon with tara. tradisyon na 'to! =) consumed innumerable amounts of calories in the form of chocolates (almonets, cadbury, kitkat..) and two packs of popcorn. magfi-feeling rottentomatoes.com nanaman ako, hihi here goes:

confidence (edward burns, rachel weisz, dustin hoffman)
one of the best heist movies in my book. katawa si dustin hoffman. ang ganda ni rachel weisz. but i kept picturing johnny depp in edward burns role, parang mas bagay. not that edward burns was bad. prang sa collateral, ini-imagine ko na si johnny yung gumanap sa role ni tom cruise. di naman sa biased ako, pero bagay tlga.

garden state
really simple movie. read in vanity fair that it was overrated, but not really. im not part of the zach braff bandwagon, pero nakakainspire cya kasi cya gumawa ng buong film, (director, scriptwriter, producer, actor, pti soundtrack). pangarap ko yun, yung gumawa ng movie na ako lahat (narcissist? haha! cge kahit scriptwriter lang ok na). i was pleasantly surprised by natalie portman's performance, she was so adorable. kaaliw yung pag-iyak nya, parang hindi fake, mapapagaya ka na din.

maria full of grace
i loved it. the theme was a bit disturbing, but the film was surprisingly easy to watch. it's about a 17-year-old colombian who gets pregnant, and who gets fired from her job picking thorns off roses. in dire need of money, she joins a smuggling ring that makes young girls smuggle drugs into new york by swallowing 60+ capsules of heroine the the size of chubby vienna sausages. the girls then have to excrete the drugs out once they land in the states. i remember watching an episode of nip/tuck that was somewhat similar to this, except there, the drugs were placed in oversized silicon breast implants in young girls who had to have boob jobs over and over again. *shudders* im glad i dont live in south america.

continuation...(saturday)
angels in america
watched the first 2 1/2 hrs. baka madepress ako ng sobra pag minsanan kong pinanood yung buong 6 na oras.

like a fish out of water (monica bellucci)
really funny heist movie. monica bellucci=supergoddess. about a group of con-men who plan to steal a million dollar rare fish from a fish collector, and sell it back to him pretending it's another fish. well, its not surprising that a movie about a multi-million dollar fish would be funny.